When my father remarried and started family 2.0, I knew I’d never get the adult relationship with him that I wanted. I never imagined I wouldn’t get one at all. My dad has let some major things pass him by, most recently the birth of his granddaughter, my daughter.
Over the years, my sister, who is twenty years younger than me, has ruled the roost. My dad and step mom have yet to realize that they are, in fact, the parents. They seem incapable of telling her ‘no’. Because of this oversight, neither one of them came to see my daughter when she was born. Or when she was two months old and started smiling. Now she’s five months old and growing up fast. They told me the soonest they would be able to come out is August, when they only have a week and a half window, because God forbid they come out without my sister or each other. Imogen will be ten months old.
But here’s the catch. My sister may or may not get invited to a taekwondo tournament in Las Vegas. If that happens, they wont be coming here. Sister trumps granddaughter. Taekwondo trumps granddaughter. Chuck Norris trumps granddaughter. I have no words.
There are certain moments in life that you never get back. Sharing in the birth of a grandchild is one of them, and my dad was lucky enough to get invited to share that with us, and trust me, that list was small and exclusive. So, I’ve told myself that he’s just not that into me, or my little family, and I will try to move on from that. I’m mourning the loss of the man I thought hung the moon and stars and trying to accept this new man, this stranger.
It’s of some comfort that my little girl won’t remember any of this. She won’t remember the rejection or the tears. I’m just not sure what I will say when she asks, years from now, why there are no pictures of her with her grandparents. I hardly know what to tell myself.
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