So, here I am. Sitting awkwardly on my couch, typing with one hand, my sleeping four-month old daughter strapped to my chest, the sound of classical music coming from my kitchen, trying to wrangle all of the thoughts that are swirling in my head. It's been like this for four months and one day. I'm the willing captive of my daughter. Is it love? Most definitely. Is it Stockholm Syndrome? Some days, yes.
How did I get here? Truthfully, I'm not sure. It's certainly not where I expected to be. It wasn't that long ago that I imagined myself crusading for the environment, saving the world one species, one natural resource, one ecosystem at a time. As my new reality creeps in, I'm pondering a new type of existence. My Google search history used to be full of science topics, graduate programs, and exotic locales. I now spend my days researching early childhood education, baby wearing, and jogging strollers. My quiet moments consist of breastfeeding instead of bubble baths. Just this morning I chose to watch the now frightening and personally relevant "Waiting for 'Superman'" over the assuredly mind-numbing "Burlesque". It's finally sunk in that I am, in fact, mortal. No amount of research could have prepared me for the roller coaster ride I'm on.
So, this is my journey. I'm on a new path. One that is both wonderful and terrifying. My life is in flux. I am, in short, becoming Mommy.
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