So, it pains me a little to admit this, but I need mommy friends. It’s true. My single and/or childless friends don’t understand that I can’t drop everything for a concert and that my mental agility is now concentrated on caring for my child and running my house and I can no longer keep straight the details of their sordid social lives. Tales of drunken exploits bore me to tears. I want to talk about babywearing, losing that baby weight, starting solids, the latest episode of Supernatural, and that great new recipe I tried last night! But where do I find these domestically minded women and do I even want to?
Seeking the company of women frightens me on a level so deep it would take years of therapy to address. I’ve been broken by the mean girls of years past. Even now the thought of attending a high school reunion will leave me rocking myself in a corner for days… well, mentally, at least. I’ve built a rather tough skin to protect myself and subsequently become a hard person to know, if I even let you in that far. This life strategy is now proving problematic as I find myself in need of mommy companionship.
I’ve tried. A little. But every time I find myself getting a little too close, a little too invested, I throw on the breaks and let it pass me by. I tell myself that I really don’t need mommy friends and that Immy really doesn’t need baby socialization, but then reality creeps in and the cycle repeats. Time for the big girl panties, I guess.
So, how do I drop my guard and find new mommy friends? Meetup? Library story time? Babywearing meetings? Can I be myself? Will they like me? How will I be able to discern the sleep-deprived from the bitchy? I’m (gulp) 30 years old and tired of mean girls and their drama. I’m not in it for the mompetion. I just want some equally exhausted, goop stained, pony tailed, mommy friends. It may be time to leap off the bridge, seek them out, and leave my anxiety at home.
