So, it pains me a little to admit this, but I need mommy friends. It’s true. My single and/or childless friends don’t understand that I can’t drop everything for a concert and that my mental agility is now concentrated on caring for my child and running my house and I can no longer keep straight the details of their sordid social lives. Tales of drunken exploits bore me to tears. I want to talk about babywearing, losing that baby weight, starting solids, the latest episode of Supernatural, and that great new recipe I tried last night! But where do I find these domestically minded women and do I even want to?
Seeking the company of women frightens me on a level so deep it would take years of therapy to address. I’ve been broken by the mean girls of years past. Even now the thought of attending a high school reunion will leave me rocking myself in a corner for days… well, mentally, at least. I’ve built a rather tough skin to protect myself and subsequently become a hard person to know, if I even let you in that far. This life strategy is now proving problematic as I find myself in need of mommy companionship.
I’ve tried. A little. But every time I find myself getting a little too close, a little too invested, I throw on the breaks and let it pass me by. I tell myself that I really don’t need mommy friends and that Immy really doesn’t need baby socialization, but then reality creeps in and the cycle repeats. Time for the big girl panties, I guess.
So, how do I drop my guard and find new mommy friends? Meetup? Library story time? Babywearing meetings? Can I be myself? Will they like me? How will I be able to discern the sleep-deprived from the bitchy? I’m (gulp) 30 years old and tired of mean girls and their drama. I’m not in it for the mompetion. I just want some equally exhausted, goop stained, pony tailed, mommy friends. It may be time to leap off the bridge, seek them out, and leave my anxiety at home.
No comments:
Post a Comment